Have you forgotten what feeling calm actually feels like?
I was speaking to someone recently who said something that really stayed with me.
She said:
"I think I've been stressed for so long that I don't actually remember what calm feels like anymore."
And honestly?
I think a lot of women would recognise themselves in that.
Not because life is constantly in crisis.
But because they've been carrying so much, for so long, that being busy and mentally switched on has simply become their normal.
They're thinking ahead.
Remembering things.
Managing responsibilities.
Looking after everyone else.
Keeping everything moving.
They're so used to being "on" that they rarely experience what it feels like to simply be.
Perhaps you recognise it too.
Maybe you:
struggle to switch off, even when you finally sit down
feel guilty if you're not being productive
find yourself mentally planning tomorrow before today has even finished
rarely feel fully present because your mind is already somewhere else
can't remember the last time you felt genuinely rested
When we're constantly carrying so much, calm can start to feel unfamiliar.
And because it feels unfamiliar, we can sometimes assume it's unrealistic.
We tell ourselves:
That's just life.
Everyone feels like this.
I'll slow down when things settle.
I just need to get through this week.
Except there always seems to be another week.
Another thing to organise.
Another responsibility.
Another reason to keep going.
And little by little, we lose touch with what calm even feels like.
Not because we're doing something wrong.
Not because we're incapable of relaxing.
But because we've become incredibly good at functioning under pressure.
The thing is, functioning and feeling okay aren't always the same thing.
You can be coping.
You can be getting things done.
You can be showing up for everyone.
And still feel mentally exhausted underneath it all.
If you're recognising yourself here, I want you to know something.
You don't have to earn calm.
You don't have to wait until everything is finished.
And you don't need permission to acknowledge that constantly carrying so much is tiring.
Perhaps calm isn't something you've lost.
Perhaps it's simply something you've become disconnected from.
And maybe this is simply your reminder that your needs matter too.
Jx