Have you become so used to coping that you've stopped checking in with yourself?
I was thinking recently about how many women I speak to who tell me they're fine.
And in many ways, they are.
They're going to work, looking after their families, remembering appointments, replying to messages and keeping everything moving.
From the outside, they're coping.
But underneath?
They're exhausted.
Their mind never really switches off.
They're constantly thinking ahead and carrying things that nobody else even realises they're carrying.
And when I ask them how they're really doing, they're often not quite sure how to answer.
I think many women become so used to carrying everything that it starts to feel normal.
They get used to:
feeling mentally overloaded
putting themselves last
never quite switching off
running on autopilot
feeling responsible for everything and everyone
They become so used to coping that they stop noticing how much they're actually carrying.
And our minds and bodies are incredibly adaptable.
We can function under pressure for a surprisingly long time.
The problem is that eventually we stop recognising the pressure for what it is.
We just call it life.
We tell ourselves we're busy.
We tell ourselves everyone feels this way.
We tell ourselves we'll slow down soon.
And before we know it, we've stopped checking in with ourselves altogether.
One of the things I've noticed over the years is that many women don't necessarily want a completely different life.
They don't want to become somebody else.
They simply miss themselves.
They miss:
feeling calm
having the headspace to think clearly
feeling present rather than constantly thinking about the next thing
not feeling so consumed by everything
feeling like themselves again
And often it's only when things start feeling heavy or overwhelming that they realise how disconnected they've become from their own needs.
If you're reading this and recognising yourself, I want you to know something.
Feeling like this doesn't mean you're failing.
It doesn't mean you're weak.
And it certainly doesn't mean there's something wrong with you.
Sometimes you've simply been carrying too much for too long.
So perhaps this is your reminder today to pause for a moment.
Take a breath.
And ask yourself:
How am I really doing?
What have I been carrying recently?
What have I been needing but not giving myself permission to acknowledge?
And what might I need right now?
Because you matter too.
And if this felt familiar, please know you're not the only one and you don't have to keep carrying everything alone.
Jx